YAWN……….mornings come so quickly anymore. I thought the baby would have gotten up in the middle of the night since he didn’t eat before bed, but he slept through the night fine. I am very surprised. I only got a little bit of packing done last night, oh well I still have a few days.
Tonight I won’t be home from work until very late. It will be a long day. I have a meeting this morning at 10:45 and another on at 6:00 this evening. So I am sure I won’t be getting home until nearly 9:00, so no packing tonight either. I will mostly likely come home and go to bed.
I didn’t sleep well last night, I dremt of Josh’s bio father. In my dream I was mad at him because he hasn’t seen or talked to JOsh in about three years. Hmmmm………that is exactly true. I personally don’t mind that I haven’t talked to him in that amount of time, but I feel bad for Josh. Not sure why I was dreaming about it, hmmm….maybe becuase I just mailed him Josh’s medical bills. Who knows! The sad part is Josh is going to end up not caring about his father, which he already seems to be at that point. The saddest part about that is for years I made sure NO ONE not my family or anyone ever said a bad word about Josh’s Dad. I didn’t want Josh to know about any of our past, etc. he should be able to love his Dad just like any other kid.
All my hard work to ensure that didn’t occurr and his father is the one who jsut stopped calling, or ever visiting. not like he visited a lot, Josh usually saw him only 2 times a year. His Dad was always too busy. But Josh looked forward to the visits, now if his Dad called, I am not even sure Josh would choose to go. That is so sad to me. It certainly isn’t that I care about Josh’s father, please don’t get the wrong idea. I care deeply about Josh and wanted him to have a relationship with his father, just hasn’t turned out that way.
I think their will be regrets in Josh’s fathers life at some point. Or maybe his feeling for Josh will never change, then I guess he will be missing out greatly. Josh is an amazing kid, who will go far in life I am sure.
Ok…I need to get that junk out of my mind………
OH one last sad note for me………………Josh is starting High School this year!! Where have all the years gone??? I can’t believe college is that close to us now. I don’t want him to leave home. he has orientation for High School when we are going on vacation. I took an extra day off and we will go get him all taken care of then. I think he is a little nervous about High School, but all he talks about his what he will do with my old car when I get a new one. He has cars on the brain! Can he get is painted?? Can he put a new stereo in it?? (where is he think he is going to get the money from???)
Well I need to take a shower and head to work. Have a great day……..sorry for a bummer of a post, just what was on my mind when I woke up. I know, I know…..you miss my insane lists. But I don’t plan on accomplishing anything tonight since I have to work so late. Ok….just so you don’t go into withdrawals.
That is sad. He is so lucky to have a warm and caring mum though.
i suppose the dream is reminding you of the sadness you feel. sad, above all for your boy, and you just know it’s going to bite back on his dad when it’s too late to mend 🙁 then again, life is mysterious and beautiful when you least expect it, one can only look forward in hope and not despair