What Your Baby Would Tell You
(If He Could Talk)


On Lifes’s Pleasures: 




  • I have my blankie, you have your caffeine. Enough said.


  • Don’t be jealous, but I think I’m in love with the ceiling fan.


  • I know where the remote control is, but it’ll cost you.


  • Actually, I don’t mind sitting in a bathtub that I’ve peed in.

On Life’s Pain:




  • bang a screwdriver slowly and steadily into your gums – that’s what teething feels like.


  • Two words I’d rather not hear from you:  Rectal thermometer.

On the Ignorance of Parents:




  • There’s no point in teaching me to say “mama” or “dada”.  My first word is going to be “hat.”


  • I’ve told you five times what a cow says.  If you can’t remember, I’m not telling you again!


  • There is no question that I can cry longer than you can listen.


  • I’m not just wildly throwing my food.  I’m exploring the laws of gravity, estimating mass, and testing wind velocity.


  • If you wanted a good sleeper, you should have gotten a cat.

On Life’s Great Questions:




  • Who the heck is that baby in the mirror you keep asking me about?


  • If my bottom is so darn cute, why is someone always trying to cover it up?


  • Who are you two to tell me how important it is to sleep alone?

A Final Thought:




  • What you secretly believe is true: I am much smarter than other babies.

Parenting – February 2002

2 thoughts on “

  1. Hehehe… you’ve got it spot on!! I see you’re a fly lady. I did try to fly for a while, but got my wings clipped quickly. But she did help me some to organise my housework.

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